FattiBOOMbalatti

On the Sanctimonious Before Fat now Thin Person

Let’s talk about the Before Fat Now Thin (BFNT) people for a minute, shall we?

I have noticed that friends and internetizens who have the most vitriol, the most hate and derision towards fat people are the BFNTs. Oh holy hell are they sanctimonious:

“You know why I am not fat? It’s because I worked my ass off!!!”

“You can lose weight if you tried you are just lazy just like I was!”

“I’ll kill myself before I let myself get like that again”

“You could really do it if you wanted to, I did.”

The BFNT is often more full of loathing, disgust, and prejudice than regular thin people towards the fat community. But I will let you in on a secret; the BFNT has a whole lifetime of self-loathing, hate, shame and rage that he now projects onto other fat people. The BFNT never worked through his body image issues psychologically so those feelings have to go somewhere, they don’t just disappear. Since the hate and shame do not disappear it usually ends up being projected onto other fat people. Every message, every shaming sentence every taunt the BFNT experienced by society filled up an internalized rubbish bin of fat hatred that now can be dumped onto other fat people, Since he is no longer fat, that all has to go somewhere, doesn’t it?

 This is not about fat people; this is all about the BFNT still hating themselves and accepting the message society has delivered to him.

Additionally, the BFNT strives to distance himself from the fat community. “I am not like THEM anymore.” He has now reached the island of thin and if he hates enough if he judges enough then that will be enough to remain thin. Just like the schoolyard friend who denies the nerd is his buddy in front of the cool people, the BFNT distances himself from the fat community as he believes it will help him gain better acceptance to the land of thin so he can just forget all about that nasty fat past. “I am not like them anymore… and never will be.”

 Subsequently, if the BFNT then becomes a re-fatted person (RFP) the resulting emotions of letting oneself down, failure, regret, hiding, and emotional turmoil are debilitating. He has become again the person he hated and has rejoined the community of people he judged without mercy. From here he has several choices, 1. get back on that dieting horse now re-internalizing the hate and shame hiding from friends and family, eating a lot of crow. 2. give up and live in a place of fat loathing self flagellation with every large size shirt and hiding from the camera or 3. fat acceptance.

I love catching the RFPs on the downswing because it is through their now burgeoning compassion, empathy for the struggle to maintain a health body image and humbled aspect that I find fat acceptance to be very powerful for them. It’s finally here that I can whisper data, studies, scientific facts which tells them, “You are not a failure, dieting has failed you.” And from this place of absolute break down we can build something healthier, wiser and so much more loving of themselves and others.  

Philadelphia Body Positive Workshops sliding scale/free

95% of all dieters fail… are you tired of dieting and wish to
cultivate a more peaceful, loving and healthy relationship with your
body?

Stop Dieting. Start Living, Love Your Body!!!

A powerful hands-on workshop for people who identify themselves as
Plus Sized. It’s time for you to embrace you as you are right now.

This workshop will cover:
Making Peace With Your Body
 Respecting and Celebrating Your Body at Any Size
 Finding and Silencing the Inner Critic and Working With the Outer
Critics in Your Life
Creating an Attitude of Gratitude and
 Cultivating a Positive Body Image and Outlook

When: 4 summer sessions: June 20th, June 27th July 11th, and July 18th
7:00PM- 8:30PM

Where: West Philadelphia’s A-Space: 4722 Baltimore Ave, Philadelphia
Plenty of nearby parking and right on the Green Line Trolley route

How Much: $8-15 sliding scale but NO ONE TURNED AWAY FROM LACK OF
FUNDS

Who is running is running it? My name is Jenna and I am trained in
life coaching and performance management, I’ve turned by coaching
skills towards helping others cultivate a more positive body image,
regardless of size. Our bodies are a wonderful temple, machine,
animal; are enough… despite what the media may tell you! Lets work
together to find the peace within and let the seed of worth and
respect grow…

Need: If possible please bring a notebook or some other journal and
some pens for the writing and drawing we may be doing in workshop,
this is a creative workshop with reflective drawing, coloring, guided
meditations and sharing.

please contact me at fattiboomballatti@gmail.com if you have any
questions about this workshop.

redefiningbodyimage:

bodypositivefeministnetwork:

• chubby bunnies
• gtfothinspo
• fyeahvbo
• stophatingyourbody
• heyfatchick
• fatisattractive
• redefiningbodyimage
• pussypussycuntcunt
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Individual personal blogs;

• owls-love-tea
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• marfmellow
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happy to be a part of the bodypositivefeministnetwork

<3

Hey ADD me to this list XD

Selling Fat Acceptance to Fat People

As I have moved from accepting to at times selling fat acceptance one thing I have realized to my own utter astonishment is that “normal” BMI people are actually more open to discussing and listening to anti-diet and fat acceptance dialogue.

The fat people I run into in my life tend to be the most closed minded to what I am saying. They nod politely, then continue their diet talk or body shaming soliloquies as if they are utterly incapable of even hearing, much less considering, and the radical ideology I am offering up to them. Now, why would a fat person refuse to hear or consider an ideology that accepts who they are in their reality now?

A fat person considering to diet or currently dieting often ignores their own life long proof that dieting has failed them. They have bought into the cultural belief that this time they will lose the weight for good. This time, they will be good and not cheat, not slip and certainly not eat like before. To consider the idea that they are “trapped” in their fat body forever and ever is so terrifying to them, so abhorrent that they cannot even consider a life living in their body… even though they have and are currently living in that fat body and most likely will do so for the rest of their lives.

A fat person who is dieting and losing weight also receives a lot of attention from family, friends and society at large. For many of them, this may be the only time they have ever received positive attention about their bodies or their looks. Fat people who are losing weight from dieting (or any other method including illness) allow themselves to be patronized, their heads patted by their thinner friends and dieting cohorts at the ongoing cost of their own self dignity and respect in the bodies they have now. Asking a fat person to consider fat acceptance is asking them to deny standard social approval and accolades and while fat acceptance and body image would improve their self worth and respect; they are often unwilling to give up what morsels of positive tidbits thrown their way by others. It’s all so terribly Pavlovian.

Lastly, the fat person has this shining, golden dream called the Fantasy of Being Thin. Constantly striving, reaching and crashing upon the shore of hostile territory the fat person nevertheless believes despite clear evidence in their own lives that this is not their island. They live on equally wonderful, luscious fruitful Fat Island but believing the grass is greener they starve themselves over and over again to reach that far shore. For the fat person, being told that they must give up trying to reach Thin created a sense of loss with the fat person living in the dominant cultural paradigm. They will get thin or die trying… they will get thin or hate themselves, loathe themselves every moment of every waking day until they do.

And so when someone like me, a fat advocate happens upon the scene… I am not welcomed with open arms; I am their worst nightmare. They Fatty Who Let Themselves Go. The Fatty Telling Them To Just Accept Their Body.

When I meet fat people who are still hooked into the dominant attitude towards their fat, still hating, still loathing still chasing after the mirage that never quite materializes. Embracing fat acceptance has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel so much better about myself and my relationship with my body is the best it has ever been. The only thing I had to do was let go… it’s all rather Zen, really. Just Be… Being, here now and allowing is to flow. I wish I could give this gift, this glimmer of relief to everyone so I will keep selling it and hope a few seeds germinate.